freedom: walking in the rain

I walked in the rain today and it’s nice to be reminded of how much I love it. I stood under a shelter and watched the wind manipulate the raindrops into a dance, while strips of water curtains drew the line between rain and shelter, excitement and safety, yes and no. I figured I could stand there; wait out the rain while it mocked my cowardice or take it on by walking into it. Two minutes later, I took off my flip flops that are absolutely hopeless, not to mention, hazardous and lethally dangerous and embarrassing on slippery ground. I took a deep breath for a bit and had my head down while I conjured stupid thoughts about my earphones (which were plugged into my iPhone) exploding in my ears.

Then it happened, the raindrops that were beating fiercely on my face brought on a familiar euphoria. One that that reminded me of my younger, braver self. My hair was a mess but I didn’t care. I was walking barefooted with an electronic device that could possibly blow up my ears, hair was my last concern. I cannot remember the last time I felt this liberated and I felt like a teenager again. I miss the courage that comes with the recklessness of youth. Growing up conditions the mind to function in safe mode and being safe has been everything but fun.

As we get older, we build walls, barricading ourselves from external dangers, forgetting that the same walls can also imprison the spirit. The one thing I have wanted to do since the year began, is to feel the earth under the soles of my feet and the first time I did that, I was with the person whose conversations remind me how much I need to work within myself to be a better person. Happiness, I believe, can only be achieved with the freedom of the spirit and this freedom that we speak of needs to be fought for. If there’s anything worth fighting for at all, that would be it.

Trees From The New Yorker